This cyclical life, it all keeps going. Seasons unfold, we move forward, and again breathe sweet air.
I step out to savor the perfume of another season and celebrate barren branches of winter burgeoning with color.
……………………………………………………………
I said good-bye to my dad in winter.
Not with regret nor celebration, but with the mysterious gratitude of having experienced a season of humanness complete its cycle. I thought I would be afraid of death, intimidated of being in the same room. I discovered I am not and I honor the gift of having being present in my father’s last days.
We both verbalized memories that bound heartstrings, paid homage to the sinews that fastened our family. And then…when all words of substance were spoken, his life snuck from his body in the minutes I stepped from his bedside. He entered a new season in the presence of Jesus.
Then I stopped writing.
This was not a decision, nor any deliberation. I simply stopped. No words came out. Like hollow echoes of empty rooms, my words reverberated inside and stayed there for the remainder of winter.
But this cyclical life, it all keeps going. Gray cloud cover gives way to blue skies, warmer breezes replace harsh wind, buds form in the apex of twigs, pushing forth to become future branches. Stories flow again through my fingers.
……………………………………………………………
I never knew I had been writing for him. Until I stopped.
I was writing to inspire and encourage women, to point them to Jesus, to fuel them in the confidence of who He created them to be. But the cold emptiness of the season actually revealed: I was writing for my dad. When his eyes closed forever and my words would not be read by him, my fingers stopped.
It was my dad who encouraged me to write. This is where our hearts met. He loved the written word, and I loved the expression. So in his latter years as his heart met grace and received mercy in Jesus, I began writing for women…in a glow of gratitude and affirmation from my dad.
So today in gratitude, spring sings again:
Write…for women who need to know there’s a Father who loves them. Write…for women who don’t have an earthly dad to encourage them. Write…for the confidence you received, not only from your heavenly Father, but from your earthly father too.
Write…because of your Father.