Sometimes my world feels comfortable, right, fitting.
I am blessed beyond every measure and far beyond what I deserve: I have a pleasant home, loving family, deep friendships, fulfilling career, two parents married over five decades, extended family, a safe community, good health and even the storybook golden retriever who greets me with an abundance of love.
And sometimes my world feels…awkward, barren, deserted.
Admittedly I prefer to slip into the cushioned chapters that wrap themselves snug, creating warmth, rest and satisfaction, but it’s in the wilderness that I most grow.
It’s the conflicts, uncertainty and parched moments that stretch me to dig deeper into God’s assurance and cling white knuckled to the promises I cannot see, to the fruit that isn’t evident, to reach for refreshing water in the dry emptiness of it all.
Sometimes, I concede, the thirst is not readily quenched.
But the role of the wilderness cannot be diminished; counterfeit comfort leaves us right where we are.
Reflecting on 2012, my spiritual journey has migrated to the barrens.
It might have been activated by the obvious: being too far away from my dad’s battle with lung cancer, a loved one’s combat with anxiety and depression, contrasting and challenging management styles that changed with three different bosses, compulsive conversations with a son with special needs…but it wasn’t.
It was obedience that led me to the wilderness.
I walked away from a leadership role in our small home church when it made no sense to me: because God said to. I gave up involvement in a non-profit where God is clearly active: because God said to. I passed an invitation to interview for a dream job at work: because God said to. I was extended an invitation to join a dynamic ministry team that I know will impact many: God said no.
NONE of these made sense to me, each took a part of my heart, and each pushed me further into wild dependence on God for answers.
But He’s been quiet.
My wilderness is not punishment and I know I’m not alone. The Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness. Please don’t miss that if your journey feels barren: the Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness. It was there the devil tempted Jesus for forty days.
Has your wilderness too, been filled with temptation? Mine has. Crazy that it arrived in the form of goodness this year…job offers and ministry opportunities.
The hardest part is learning how to say no to counterfeit good, in order to wait for the genuine great.
Here is what I’ve learned in the wilderness:
- God’s provision is measured in growth, not gratification. Gratification is the bonus to which we can return gratitude.
- Discipline is the most tempted, yet the most rewarded when overcome.
- The wilderness sets out to break me of autonomy, independence and self-sufficiency. The quicker I open my heart and hands, the less I am hungry.
- My sense of mission is clearer, I gain better perspective and understand my purpose and calling.
- I know I will be equipped with what I need when it ends.
Is life looking a little barren to you? A little wild? A little dry?
Let your wilderness affirm God’s promises even if you cannot see, feel, taste, hear or smell them.
Cling to faith. You will emerge with more of God.